Lloyd ‘Pete’ Waters: The wit and humor of Andy Rooney | Visitor Editorials

A couple of years in the past, I bear in mind gathering across the tv to look at a Sunday evening present referred to as “60 minutes.” It was a most attention-grabbing program with Harry Reasoner, Mike Wallace and Ed Bradley reporting newsworthy occasions.

However perhaps the icing on the cake belonged to a person named Andy Rooney, who shared a chunk of his thoughts along with his viewers for the final three minutes of the present.

And one in every of her well-known manufacturers was her bushy eyebrows. I’ve at all times needed eyebrows like this, however the girl and the kid at all times objected.

The topics of the present had been all very informative. However the spotlight was in Rooney’s wit and humor. He held this place from 1978 to 2011.

Rooney was born January 14, 1919 in Albany, NY, and died November 4, 2011, on the age of 92. tv and leisure personalities for the sheer pleasure of those little folks right here in media land such as you and me.

His crumpled costumes, bushy eyebrows and cranky voice had been all kissed by his beloved followers. As a author for Stars and Stripes throughout WWII, he honed his journalism abilities.

He has written a number of books “Widespread Nonsense”, “Andy Rooney: 60 Years of Knowledge and Wit” and “Not That You Requested …”, to call a couple of, and he gained 5 Emmy Awards throughout his profession.

After listening to or studying a few of Rooney’s anecdotes, you at all times left the room feeling refreshed.

Can I share a couple of with you?

“The thought of ​​having a cup of espresso is often higher than espresso.”

I get pleasure from this one each morning, I flipped the “on” swap on my coffeemaker for my blueberry infusion.

Then he may give his opinion on the Conservatives and the Liberals:

• “The Conservatives aren’t in favor of conservation on the subject of slicing down bushes, digging for coal or drilling for oil.”

• “The Liberals are extra liberal with authorities cash than with theirs.”

• “Conservatives can’t prepare dinner and not using a recipe. The Liberals don’t prepare dinner; they exit for dinner.

A few of these little gems are priceless:

• “The Conservatives plan their day; the Liberals need to see what occurs. “

• “Conservatives complain that almost all viewers are liberals.”

And right here is the voice from Rooney’s pulpit:

• “Conservatives are extra non secular than Liberals though there isn’t a proof that they’re nicer due to it.”

• “The Conservatives imagine the federal government is taking away a person’s freedom; the Liberals imagine the federal government is defending their freedom. “

Rooney’s shut commentary on a wide range of topics tended to stir his bowl of porridge. A few of his feedback over time have raised angst in some listeners and viewers and put him in sizzling water occasionally.

However Rooney supplied few quarters to his detractors.

Listed here are a couple of extra:

• “You meet quite a lot of silly individuals who went to school.”

I shared this one a couple of years in the past, with a senior official who touted a newly earned doctorate. however generally did some fairly silly stuff.

• “Individuals attempt to make you’re feeling higher to your age by mendacity. They inform you how stunning you’re. I do know what I appear like. I look outdated and outdated do not look good, ”Rooney recommended.

I bear in mind this one each time I have a look at myself within the mirror. As I used to be inspecting my physique in a big mirror someday, I exclaimed to my spouse that Dargan Boy’s waist was getting larger, his hair was getting thinner and white; and his legs had been bowed.

She informed me to not fear an excessive amount of as a result of there was nothing unsuitable with my sight; one thing Rooney may have stated.

Rooney has shared many different anecdotes over time that may make you pause and snort.

“I simply want there was one thing we may take to treatment ourselves of stupidity,” he as soon as noticed.

Are you able to think about a capsule or a treatment for that one? Neither do I.

• “Canines are nicer than people.”

• “My concept of ​​heaven can be to die and get up in a spot that has all my misplaced issues.”

Then he left us this true or false evaluation:

• “There are 5,280 meters in a mile. FALSE. There are 5,280 yards over three miles. “

• “Abortion, gun management, nuclear energy, and prayer at school are three issues to keep away from when speaking with mates. FALSE. These are 4 issues to keep away from when speaking with mates.

• And at last, “issues will most likely worsen.” TRUE

Did you at the least perceive the latter?

Lloyd “Pete” Waters is a resident of Sharpsburg who writes for The Herald-Mail.

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